Hottest Take Ever Demolishes Cosmo, Orgasms, Sex, Groceries
Every so often, a take is published on the Internet that’s so hot – no, no, so scalding – that you have to read it a fourth time, just to make sure you got the message, as you enter your local...
View ArticleDr. Oz Cares Not About Your Bullshit “Facts”
Dr. Oz is literally the greatest medical mind of our generation and if you don’t agree with that OBJECTIVE FACT, you can go kick sand (or, hell, eat it, I don’t care. People who don’t listen to Dr. Oz...
View ArticleYour LinkedIn profile is awful
A former college classmate tried to connect with me on LinkedIn last week. I didn’t accept his connection. It’s not because I’m anti-social. I mean, I am anti-social, but I didn’t deny him for that. I...
View ArticleThings to do in Denver when baseball is dead
Baseball has ended, and surprisingly, I wrote a baseball post for a non-baseball website! That’s right, I put together a list of fun things for HUSTLER Magazine that you can do/follow/enjoy now that...
View ArticleLet’s be honest, Caitlyn Jenner is (politically) problematic
I wrote a piece the other day for HUSTLER Magazine in which I argue about Caitlyn Jenner being politically problematic for her Republican-minded stances on the upcoming presidential election, even in...
View ArticleThe “gun control” debate has long been lost
As I’m sitting here watching the coverage on the mass shooting in San Bernardino, California on FOX 11 Los Angeles (apparently, a dozen people are dead, though that may change), I can’t help but feel...
View ArticleChris Christie is terrified of four-year-olds
Nobody will ever accuse Chris Christie of being a brave, patriotic man. That’s especially true considering how, in the midst of the Syrian refugee debate here in America, the governor of New Jersey...
View ArticleI called Donald Trump an ‘anthropomorphized bag of canine fecal matter’
So this is fun, I guess. On HUSTLERMagazine.com this week, I called Donald Trump an “anthropomorphized bag of canine fecal matter,” which is really just a big ol’ human bag of dog shit (you probably...
View ArticleDonald Trump probably won’t eat his own feces on stage, right?
One of the best things about writing in general is the different voices you can apply to your work and the different rules and attitudes you’re allowed to break, follow, take on, and try out. Of...
View ArticleYour 2015 year-in-review… in new made-up sex acts!
Everybody on the Internet doest these 2015 year-in-review posts every December twenty-something, so I made sure that HUSTLERMagazine.com is no different with my latest post on sex acts over there. The...
View ArticleHere’s some stuff you should leave in 2015 — and some predictions for 2016!
Hey, I wrote a few new thing sfor HustlerMagazine.com and you can read one of them (it has NSFW pictures) here! Then, after you knock that one out, go here for the second (kinda related) piece. It’s a...
View ArticleNothing Donald Trump does or is involved with should surprise you any more
Donald Trump is not a good person, and that was even before Sarah Palin endorsed him on Tuesday afternoon. (Sarah Palin! It’s 2016 and people still think what Sarah Palin has to say is important?!) The...
View ArticleSarah Palin continues to do what Sarah Palin does
I wrote another thing for HUSTLER Magazine today (very NSFW, be careful), which you can read by clicking here. It is about Sarah Palin, and how she’s endorsing Donald Trump because they are both douche...
View ArticleBehold, the media will exploit Zika just like it did Ebola!
The media is going to exploit Zika just like it exploited Ebola, so let’s all behold the stupidity that’s about to come from your favorite news source! I wrote about it on HUSTLERMagazine.com (NSFW,...
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